Becoming

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Though you’re reading this on Friday, I’m writing on Thursday.

It’s really late at night. The whole house is asleep and I’m waiting for my beloved to slip in from work. All the lights are off but my south facing window is open in the office where I write. And the blue light of the computer screen keeps me company. I can hear the westerly breeze as it rustles what’s left of winter’s dead pasture grass. I can smell summer trying to make an impression. (It was in the low 80’s today and is 49 degrees now! But it won’t last. We are to have a cold front and rain starting tomorrow afternoon. High’s in the 50’s which is more “normal” for this time of year.)

Usually the change of seasons turn my thoughts inward and in my introspection, I can’t help but “become” thankful. Become is such a curious word. Not quite there. But moving towards. Become. Becoming. I am becoming thankful. I AM thankful.

  • I have a most loving husband. I know the term “loving” is used often when describing some one who loves you. But he really loves me. He shows me this every day: bringing me a cup of coffee while I’m in the shower, putting the needs of our children over his needs like going to yet another baseball game when I know he’d rather be fishing. Leaving home to work every. single. month. Love. I am thankful.

 

  • I am thankful for my children who are a constant reminder that I, myself, me; am not perfect. They are messy. They are contentious. They wreck the truck on accident. They race outside to take the clean clothes off the line after the rain storm has passed through soaking everything. They call me when they are late so I won’t worry. They chase piglets that have escaped (again) through the mud and muck so I don’t have to get my shoes muddy (again). They are loving and thoughtful. They are the best parts of Tim and me. And they are also the worst. But God loves them and He loves me inspite of our imperfections and messiness. I am thankful.

 

  • I am thankful for having this wonderful, frustrating, a little-bit-falling-apart house we live in. It’s big and sprawling. Our family can spread out. (And that’s important especially in the winter when living on top of each other sounds romantic and all “pioneer-y”. Well, it’s not.) It’s warm when it’s cold outside and cool when the hot summer breezes blow out of the west. We gather here to eat and share the day and sometimes fight and sometimes cry. But we can always come home to find each other here in this house even when we feel lost outside.

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  • I am thankful for my washing machine. I know that sounds dumb but cannot imagine washing clothes by hand at the river or any other body of water. I’ve done it before when it was just my gross stinking clothes and I was a short term missionary in New Guinea a long time ago. It was not fun. It took me all day to wash one pair of jeans, a few t-shirts and a couple of unmentionables. ALL DAY! I cannot even think about washing all my family’s gross stinking clothes in that same manner today. Omygoodness! And now we have pig clothes and cow clothes which are clothes that are only worn in the pig palace or barn (not to be confused with our church clothes which will never be worn in the pig palace or the barn, in theory). I just can’t see me beating those clothes with a rock by the river’s edge. I am thankful for the washing machine.

 

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  • I am thankful for doctors and medical people who live right here in our own town. I am thankful we have medicine that can relieve the pain and suffering of my sweet fearless child who went sliding, head first (on purpose), into 3rd base tonight and dislocated his right shoulder. I am thankful we didn’t have to ride a horse 20 miles to the nearest doctor to get a sling and pain meds so he could sleep. I am thankful that we have the ability to look inside his body with x-rays and CT scans and (maybe) an MRI to see what needs to be fixed with (maybe) surgery so he doesn’t have to walk around with a non-functioning right arm for the rest of his life. I’m know I’m being dramatic here but I hate it when my kids are hurt. It makes me cry when they hurt. I truly wish it were me instead of him. First of all, I never would have gone in head first!

 

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I’m so thankful for so many things that I can’t even name them all. I know that I’m not worthy of the great things that I have been blessed with. I know that I will never be able to be thankful enough for my warm bed, clean water, animals, a garden, clothes, family, electricity, indoor plumbing and even a refrigerator (I have a friend who grew up in another country and her family didn’t have refrigeration. And she’s not an elderly woman reminiscing about her childhood. She’s my age! I can’t even imagine trying to feed a family without my ‘fridge. But I’m a baby.) We have enough money to pay our bills each month and sometimes have a bit extra for treats.

Truly every good thing comes from above.

And for that I am thankful.

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