Sometimes I’m a loser of a mother

I didn’t sleep well at all last night.

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

I tossed and turned and just couldn’t shut off my brain. You see, we are having a celebration next Saturday! Our middle son, Luke, is graduating from high school! We are so proud of him!  And because of this great celebration, we will be hosting lots of company;  just a few (500 or so) of our closest friends and family who love Luke and are as proud of him as Tim and I are.

 

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

 

And because of our great celebration and hosting lots of people, I layed (or is it laid? I never figured this out from the last time we discussed this topic) awake thinking of the dingy carpet and the stain where the dog threw up that we can’t seem to get out. And I pondered over the true lack of enough furniture we own so that said 500 family and friends can happily sit and relax while eating cake and tell stories and laugh~ ya know, family stuff.

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

And I thought of the yard and area surrounding the house that looks REALLY ragged because we have had 77 days of rain~ straight. Well, maybe I exaggerate. But twice yesterday and today it rained on me so hard I had to give up the mowing for fear I was going to be hit be lightning. And I’m pretty tall so that could really happen!

(Tall people fear lightening! Short people have no fear of lightening. Short people intuitively know to stand next to a tall person for safety in a thunder storm. Don’t doubt me on this!)

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

 

And I contemplated the fact that I STILL haven’t sent out Luke’s graduation announcements to our out of town family. (Now this fact isn’t terrible because most of those family members won’t be able to make the ceremony anyway. But in the middle of the night it seemed terrible.)

The bathroom I was going to paint over the winter? Never happened.

Our lovely front porch still isn’t stained and has to be shored up or it might fall off the house (now this again isn’t exactly true but everything is dark in the wee hours of the morning.)

 

SAM_4656.JPG

And those thoughts morphed to other self conceived failures:
     I’ve never mastered the perfect pie crust.
     I can’t do math in my head when someone is watching me.
     My house is always a mess. Always.
     I still can’t drive in the snow. (It’s the Texan in me.)
     I have a HUGE pile of mismatched socks that I just can’t throw away.
     I never called that agency I saw in our church bulletin to volunteer my nursing services.
     I never called the president of the United States with my idea for world peace.
     I never solved world hunger.
What a loser of a mother I am.
SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES
But then the night was over.
IMG_0310
And the sun came up.
And I rubbed my tired eyes and looked out the window and took a big breath.
And I remembered that, yup, I am a loser of a mother without Jesus.
And in Him we live and breathe and have our being.
IMG_0381
And if I don’t get it right, it won’t matter because the carpet and the lawn and the food and even world peace are not as important right now as loving my children and making a happy, God filled home for them.
IMG_0260
So I felt better.
And I drove over to milk Maisy.
And Maggie licked me and licked me and licked me.
IMG_0308
And I was better. But tired.
Today’s count: 43 eggs, 2 gallons (Yay! I think Maisy’s heat cycle is what put the milk production on the fritz. Must be the swing in hormones because today she’s back on track. Today marks the 3rd and last day of her heat cycle.)
What’s for supper: Ham, rice with Swiss chard, baby!
Weather: Showers likely and possibly a thunderstorm. Partly sunny, with a high near 67. South southwest wind around 11 mph. Chance of precipitation is 60%. Tonight scattered showers and thunderstorms. Mostly cloudy, with a low around 41. West northwest wind 6 to 13 mph. Chance of precipitation is 50%.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: